My dream best friend

The idea of a friend was weird for me when I was small since I can't believe that anyone can like me because most of the other guys don't like me. I tried to conform and be part of the group but realized that it's all for naught and will just get me in trouble.

So I became more and more self reliant and mindful of myself. I just did what I can to survive another day with people. Then my bubble got bust in High School. I learned that life is harder and that people are harder to understand. I had my first best friend, his name was Moses. And like most friendships hanging around another person seems weird since I just met this person in high school.



Then college is another thing. I think having some set of friend can help you deal with the harshness of life. I had Agnes on first year during college and then Rica after that. The sad thing about school is once you are apart then communication is harder.

One friend left after another. I don't know if you can say that life is a series of best friends, one after another. As of now I am more alone than ever. Life is becoming harder and harder as an adult and every year I think I sink deeper. I don't tell anyone because I have learned that each people have burdens and I don't want to be a burden to anyone, even with the few friends I have now.

Sometimes I wish  had a best friend who can share my weird inclinations like listening to foreign music, German, Korean, Chinese, Japanese and even Thai, one who knows sign language, buy postcards from stores, is excited about stamps, loves cats, just wants to hang around inside rather than malls, likes to eat healthy, loves to read, and will learn any crazy crafts despite the stereotype (like knitting).

Well I think I am asking too much...